


Five Things

by lynabelle



Series: Five Things [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Everyone is in this, F/M, Gen, Introspection, Lists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-06
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-28 15:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/993776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynabelle/pseuds/lynabelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of five things lists about the BAU team. "She will protect and serve her country. To whatever end."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hotch

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in 2011-2012. Also published on fanfiction.net under the same name.

1\. He dislikes being called Hotchner. He realizes that it's his name but he would much rather be called Hotch. His father was Hotchner.

2\. He could have loved Garcia. No, he does love Garcia but he thinks he could have loved her like he loves Haley if he had met Garcia first.

3\. Reid reminds him a lot of himself in his first years at the bureau. Reid's much smarter, obviously, but they acted much the same way during their first years. It scares him that he was ever that young and innocent.

4\. He had trouble looking at Jack for days after Haley was- was killed. Jack looks so much like his mother.

5\. He wishes he could smile more. He wishes he could show the people around him how much he cares about them.


	2. Reid

1\. Sometimes, he wishes he was more like Morgan or Hotch. A real hero. A real FBI agent. And not some kid genius who got into the BAU because rules were broken for his brain.

2\. He use to believe in God. He use to believe that He could exist. He doesn't know why he stopped believing but he doesn't miss the religion he grew up with. Not a lot anyway.

3\. Tobias Hankel did save his life. Morgan doesn't understand, probably because he's never tried to really explain it, but Tobias did save his life. And not just from Charles Hankel. It took awhile but in the end, his life was better because of Hankel and his kidnapping.

4\. He is an alpha male, in a way. Not like Hotch or Morgan. But he's usually the smartest person in the room. If there's someone who thinks they're smarter than him, he tries to cut them down to size as quickly as possible. If, and he's only meet two people like this, someone is smarter than him, then he makes sure they don't cross paths very often.

5\. He doesn't want to be famous or have crowds of admirers, but being more appreciated by someone other than his team would be nice.


	3. Morgan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally written in 2011

1\. He wishes he could change. That he could be the kind of person to get married and have a kid. He wishes that he wasn't too broken for that kind of life.

2\. Reid made him feel inferior for a while. Stills does sometimes. And it bothers him that someone like Reid could make him feel inferior without trying.

3\. He wants to be the person Garcia loves with all her heart.

4\. He wishes he had treated his mama better when he was a kid. She didn't deserve the way he acted.

5\. It bothered him a lot more when Gideon left than he ever let on. And he's not sure if it's because Gideon left him or because he hurt Reid like that.


	4. Garcia

1\. Her real hair color is a boring, dull brown. The first time she dyed it, she was fifteen and she dyed it black to try to get a rise out of her parents. She's kept dying her hair after all these years because it reminds her of them and because it lets her be different.

2\. She started dressing the way she does for attention. She wanted to stand out and that was the only way she could think to do it. Now, it's a part of her. She can't not dress this way.

3\. She will destroy anyone who tries to hurt her family. No matter what it takes.

4\. She hacked into the government computers to prove she could. At first, she wondered how she could do something so stupid [because she thought she could get away with it] but now she thinks it was the best thing she ever did.

5\. One of the worst moments of her life is when she has to tell Hotch that she let someone hack into the FBI. She felt worse seeing Hotch's disappointment at that than when she had to tell her parents she dropped out of Caltech.


	5. JJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally written when JJ had left the BAU.

1\. Her biggest dream for years was to escape her tiny, boring town where everyone knew everything about everyone else. Now she wonders why she wanted that.

2\. Spencer will always hold a special place in her heart. He's sweet, cares about everyone, and it's hard to get him truly angry. Sometimes, looking at him now, she wonders why she couldn't see the man he's become all those years ago when she told him she just wanted to be friends.

3\. She's glad that she gets to spend more time with her Henry and Will. She just wishes she didn't have lose the rest of her family to get that time.

4\. Garcia is the best friend she's ever had.

5\. She wonders sometimes if she and Will really are right for each other.


	6. Rossi

1\. He always thought he was too good for divorce. That he'd never be like his parents. Now, he's has three ex-wives and he's not sure if he ever loved any of them.

2\. The whole 'team' thing scared him a lot in the beginning. He's learned through out his entire life to only rely on himself and now he has to rely on a group of agents who's combined years in the BAU doesn't equal his.

3\. It bothers him now that the biggest surprise he can remember was when he found out that Reid had been on the team for three years. He looked too young to be an agent, much less a somewhat experienced agent.

4\. He regrets leaving the church, even if he was only gone for five months.

5\. He thinks trying to find God again is the best decision he's ever made.


	7. Prentiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written just after 'Lauren' had aired

1\. She has to stop thinking sometimes or else she'll go mad with grief, guilt, and every other negative emotion she can think of.

2\. She didn't want to leave them behind. But she couldn't stay and she couldn't take them with her.

3\. She's been so many people, she's not sure who she really is.

4\. She still wishes she didn't have to lie.

5\. Emily Prentiss is dead. But she hopes a necromancer will come along someday.


	8. Elle

1\. She doesn't regret walking away. She got her life back together and she feels happy now. (most of the time)

2\. She called Reid once, three months after she left. She missed all of them but she missed Reid the most. She hung up when he answered.

3\. She knew Reid was lying when he said he didn't have any personal connection to Schizophrenia. Sometimes she thinks she should have called him on it.

4\. She wonders if she could have handled the BAU for much longed even if she hadn't been shot.

5\. She hates that one sick man fixated on Reid changed her life forever.


	9. Gideon

1\. He wishes he was a better father. Steven deserved better. His wife deserved better.

2\. He lived for his work because he had nothing else. And it ate him up and spat him out. And he just couldn't handle it anymore.

3\. He wishes he could have said goodbye in person but he knew if he did, he wouldn't be able to leave them.

4\. The ones he couldn't save haunt him.

5\. He needs to let go but he can't.


	10. Haley

1\. She wanted it to be like it was in high school, when she was the most important thing to him. She couldn't stand that he would put something above her. She knows she sounds selfish, but is it really too much to ask to be the most important thing to her husband?

2\. She knows he loves her. She knows he loves Jack. But that wasn't enough.

3\. She had to push her anger away so she could tell Aaron what he needed to know and hear. And she needed her last words not to be angry ones.

4\. She sometimes felt jealous of his coworkers. They got him so much of the time and she only got him a little.

5\. She wishes he would let himself mourn more. She knows his team will help him but he won't admit he needs it.


	11. Diana Reid

1\. She knew something was wrong. She didn't know why but something was wrong, something with her Spencer. Spencer was in trouble. She could tell.

2\. She loves her son more than she can describe. He is her life, she will do anything for him.

3\. When she's aware, she hates how much her illness took from her. Her career, her memories, doing things normal mothers do, any enjoyment she could have had from her pregnancy, her son's childhood.

4\. She misses William Reid sometimes.

5\. She wants to be normal. She wants to be normal. She wants to be normal.


	12. William Reid

1\. He wanted to be a father. He wanted children running around the house. He wanted normal children. Who play sports and need help with homework. Spencer wasn't normal. He couldn't handle Spencer.

2\. He couldn't take care of his wife. He couldn't watch the woman he loved turn into a shadow barely worthy of Diana. And he couldn't make her get help, he couldn't force her to do something she didn't want to.

3\. He wishes he was worthy of being Spencer's father or Diana's husband. They're both bright, bright shining stars. He wishes he was strong enough to be with them, to stand in the smoke they leave behind. But instead he let them burn him up.

4\. It was an excuse, a good excuse, using the lie they hid about Riley Jenkins. He probably would have left anyway.

5\. He thought he would be a better man than this. Than a man who leaves his son and ill wife. Than a man who couldn't let his son be better than him. Than the coward he's become.


	13. Seaver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anyone remember Ashley Seaver?

1\. She's terrified. She hopes she's good enough but, honestly, she thinks her past might find her one day. After all, isn't part of being a killer genetic? Possibly inherited?

2\. She never knew that her father was a killer until the police told her. She never suspected. She wonders if one day someone else will be able to trick her again like that.

3\. She searched every newspaper she could find, to learn everything she could about what her father did. She's haunted all the time by those pictures and words.

4\. Sometimes she wishes they had never caught her father so that she wouldn't have to know. So that she wouldn't have had to lose her father.

5\. She wonders why her whole life has been taken up by the wrongs her father did.


	14. Strauss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written before Strauss' last episode.

1\. She realized a long time ago that caring for the agents under her command will never do any good.

2\. Perhaps she made a mistake, taking more care of her job than her family or herself. But she knows it's all for the greater good. You have to sacrifice some to protect the people. Hopefully someday her children will understand that.

3\. She doesn't hate the BAU, Aaron Hotchner, or any other such thing. She wants the best out there to protect the world, and she's not sure that Hotchner and his team are the best.

4\. You can't control chaos and evil with more chaos and disobedience.

5\. She will protect and serve her country. To whatever end.


	15. Kevin Lynch

1\. Everyone [including Penelope] who knows about his tattoo thinks there's a story behind it. A grand story with a great meaning and he just won't tell them. He actually got it because of a dare in college after a couple of drinks with his friends. The only reason it's so elaborate is because he thought it looked the coolest out of all of the tattoos in the book of designs they showed him.

2\. It is so hot when Penelope threatens him with computer viruses and hacking.

3\. His first time was with Penelope. She doesn't know. And there's no way he's ever telling her.

4\. Honestly, you would think he would be more worried about Morgan. He and Penelope flirt constantly but he knows that that's just their relationship. Reid, on the other hand, he and Penelope are close friends and they seem so much alike that it could just happen. Two friends, falling for each other.

5\. He's going to ask Penelope to marry him someday. She's the girl he wants to marry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again written in 2011ish, so before Kevin tried to actually propose. (Also, I ship Reid with everyone.)


	16. Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written before JJ and Will's wedding

1\. He's worried that JJ won't ever be ready to marry him. He loves her but waiting is so hard.

2\. Giving up his job, his friends, his life in New Orleans was the second hardest he's ever done. But he'll do it again for JJ and Henry.

3\. Burying his father was the first hardest thing he's ever done.

4\. The connection JJ has with her team, it's so strong, sometimes it scares him. He was never that close to the others on the force back in New Orleans.

5\. He hopes Henry has an easier life and love than him and JJ.


	17. Ian Doyle

1\. He will find his son. Nothing will stand in his way. No matter what Lauren, or rather Emily, did. His son will be with him again.

2\. She got off far too easily. If he had more time, he would have made her pay as she deserved for what she did to him and his son. She deserves much worse than she got.

3\. It would be all too easy to kill the only things she loved for her mistakes. But he doesn't like to dirty his hands when she's already dead.

4\. It filled his life with enjoy again, making Emily nervous and scared for her life.

5\. He needs his son. He cannot…. function without purpose in his life and his son is his only purpose left. Revenge taken and Lauren killed. There doesn't seem to be a point to go back to his old life without taking his son with him.


	18. Jack Hotchner

1\. He knows his daddy misses his mommy. Even though Daddy tries to hid it sometimes. He doesn't know why his daddy does that.

2\. He can still hear the gunshot and the crashing and the banging and all those noises from that night. He doesn't tell his daddy because he know he wouldn't like it.

3\. He missed his daddy a awfully lot when he had to go and Daddy couldn't come. He had wished that something would happen so he could see his daddy more. He wishes that his wish hadn't come true.

4\. He wants his daddy to be happy. And smile and laugh like the daddies on TV.

5\. He doesn't understand. Why his daddy leaves so much. Why Mommy had to die. Why everyone else has a Mommy and a Daddy to take to things all the time but he doesn't. He doesn't understand.


	19. JJ and Reid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After I started to run out of characters, I wrote chapters where it was two characters thinking about each other. I hope that makes sense.

JJ.

1\. He really is sweet, probably one of the sweetest men she knows. He's adorable in his innocent of women, but he can also be annoying with his lack of hands on knowledge about women.

2\. She made him Henry's godfather mostly because at the time she felt sorry for him because of everything he was going through. She convinced Will by telling him that Reid always do everything he can for Henry and that he would do his very best for Henry if anything ever happened to them, which she knows he will. But she originally planned to ask Hotch to be the godfather.

3\. Sometimes, she wonders if Reid actually does know the effect he has on people when he's doing some very obvious genius thing but does it anyway.

Reid.

1\. He didn't really have much of a crush on JJ. He did like her and wondered if maybe she would date him if he asked. But he never planned on actually crossing the boundaries and asking her.

2\. He knows she asked him to be Henry's godfather because she felt sorry for him. He's aware that she likes him like a little brother but not a little brother you would normally trust your child to. He's determined to be the best godfather anyway so that she sees that she made the right choice.

3\. He greatly enjoys watching JJ take control of the press and local officers and getting them to do what she likes. It's one of his favorite parts of staying at the station.


	20. Prentiss, again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written before Prentiss came back

1\. She very rarely regretted keeping so many secrets from her team. In fact, most days she was able to forget she was even keeping her past work hidden from them. She's still not entirely sure she regrets that she didn't tell them. She probably would have lost them anyway.

2\. She did love Doyle. She forgot who he was sometimes, it was then that she really loved him.

3\. She hopes that his son is living a safe and happy life and that Doyle will never find him. If Doyle finds, the boy will probably not make it out alive.

4\. When she was boarding the plane, leaving Emily Prentiss behind forever, the only thing she couldn't push completely from her mind was Reid calling her, asking her out of the blue to see a Russian scifi movie with him.

5\. She hopes that one day she'll be able to avoiding thinking that dying might have been easier than living like this.


	21. Foyet

1\. Watching Aaron Hotchner fall apart, losing everything that made him sane. Trying to protect them. Losing one of them anyway. It was oh so sweet.

2\. His first killing, a messy, uncontrolled thing, made him feel more powerful than anything he ever did before. He knew he had found his calling, and knew that he had to master his art.

3\. Killing isn't the prize for him. Oh, it bring a certain amount of joy and pleasure. But knowing he's in control, that they are all jumping on his command, knowing that he is in power. That just takes the cake.

4\. He was so surprised at just how brilliant it was, hiding in plain sight, pretending to be a victim. Why, he could hardly believe he had thought of it.

5\. Seeing the weaklings beg for their lives, as if it would actually help, was his favorite memory of his killings.


	22. Frank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frank was Gideon's big bad in the early seasons. (I have trouble remembering him, I figured that I might clarify.)

1\. Jason Gideon was very much fun. Playing with him was very enjoyable. He was, perhaps, the most fun man he met.

2\. Jane, who has the name of the uncrowned English queen Lady Jane Grey who was only queen for nine days, is his love. He loves her, is obsessed with her. She is his heart.

3\. He is never certain whether he cares for his mother or if he hates her with a bitter and strong passion. It doesn't matter much anyway, so he never tried to figure it out.

4\. Of course he was never caught. He is too good to be caught. He has too many cards in his hand to get caught.

5\. He does miss those strawberry milkshakes. They were very good.


	23. Billy Flynn

1\. Perhaps he did set his mother free. Free from her life. He also set himself free. Free from those men she came home with. Free from her soul sucking personality.

2\. He is the best at what he does. The very best. He could have continued on for the rest of his life without ever being caught.

3\. Spicer was his creation. He made him who he was. He deserved that credit.

4\. He's not quite sure what made him do it. Ellie did have this- presence about her, almost like she want him to take her and teach her his way of life. Perhaps he wanted someone to share it with.

5\. His death was his choice. And only his. He wouldn't have died if he hadn't chosen to.


	24. Garcia and Gideon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon and Garcia reflecting on one another

Garcia

1\. He always annoyed her. She could handle him over the phone but in person he scared and annoyed her at the same time.

2\. It makes her feel guilty that she felt like that around him.

3\. She respected him and trusted him and he abandoned them.

4\. She doesn't think she'll ever forgive him for hurting her family.

5\. It took everything in her not to mess up every electronic trace of him.

Gideon

1\. To be completely honest, she intimidated him.

2\. He knows he can be brass but he assumed that it wouldn't offend her.

3\. He soon realized that Garcia isn't entirely capable of being professional.

4\. He knows better than to think she would forgive him. He had expected some kind of attack on his credit score at the least.

5\. She reminds him too much of his ex-wife for him to ever truly like her.


	25. Jordan Todd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Show of hands of people who actually remember the woman who filled in for JJ while she was having a baby?

1\. She felt awful about lying to that family after Hotch got on to her. But the thing is, she's done it before and if she was caught before, all she was every told was good job.

2\. If only Morgan wasn't such a player, if only.

3\. She'll never forget the sight of that house where the man killed his entire family. She'll never understand how someone could do that and she never wants to.

4\. JJ's job is one promotion she never wants.

5\. She's glad to be back at her normal job. She never thought the Counterterrorism Division would seem tame.


	26. Garcia and Reid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously love these two

Spencer Reid

1\. Garcia really is his best friend. He treasures her friendship so much.

2\. She's unusual, different, and very, very loud (in a good way) and somehow that's beautiful to him.

3\. He feels like he can tell her any secret. He can trust with anything and know that she won't tell anyone. And that means more than he can say.

4\. Honestly, if he didn't think that Garcia would chew him up and spit him back out, he might have thought about dating her.

5\. So instead, she's like his sister, best friend, and confidant all in one.

Penelope Garcia

1\. For all her talk and flirting with Morgan, she would probably choose to spend time with Reid over him. She and Reid have so much more in common with each other.

2\. He's quirky, sweet, and different, and that makes him so lovable in his own special way.

3\. It makes her feel special, helpful, and important that he trusts her with his secrets.

4\. Sometimes, only once in a while, she wishes Kevin could be more like him. So sweet and kind.

5\. He's her little brother, best friend, and quirky-partner-against-crime all in one.


	27. Tobias Hankel

1: He hate-hate-hates his father.

2: Diladud is freedom. It lets him escape from hell. He is in hell. His father would not be around if he wasn't.

3: He wants freedom. Death was welcome.

4: God must be evil. No good God could want him and his father to do these things. Why are so many blinded?

5: He can't escape. Not at all


	28. Reid, again

1: Sometimes he can't help but think he's the token genius.

2: It hurts, to realize that things won't stay the same forever, that the rest of the team is moving on in their lives and he seems just stuck.

3: He hates when Morgan teases him over his hair or women or any other ridualous thing like that. He can't help comparing Morgan to even other person who's done that and most of them weren't kind about it.

4: Sometimes, rarely, he'll induge himself and think of all the ways he's smarter that whomever's around him at the time. It hardly ever fails to make him feel happier.

5: He knows some of time when he says something he shouldn't or that's uncomfortable for the other person. But since he can get away with it, he might as well have some fun with it.


End file.
